


baby, it's too late to say i love you

by NoodlePie



Category: Love Island (Video Game)
Genre: Drunk Sex, F/M, Heartbreak, Mutual Pining, Pining, Romantic Friendship, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2020-12-22 18:17:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21080969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoodlePie/pseuds/NoodlePie
Summary: Bobby and Artemis walk on parallel paths and neither one of them can move on from who they love. However, while Artemis pines over Noah, Bobby can't stop thinking about Artemis. Will the pain ever stop?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It took me a long time to be in the headspace to write this thing. It felt too real hahah. It's a bit raw maybe but it's so long and feels almost like a fever dream to be fully edited but I definitely needed to write it all out. 
> 
> Next month, I might not be able to write at all, so I hope this 18 page piece compensates for the lack of content for a while.

Artemis’ eyes shot wide open at the sound that filled the Villa. It sounded familiar and as if it was coming from one of the other rooms. It wasn’t a text. It was something else...a cry. Not an adult cry however. 

A child. 

_ Oh no.  _

She sat up in bed and looked around to see if anyone was awake yet. Bobby was still sound asleep next to her, as was everyone else, so for a second she almost thought it was a phantom sound she had just heard in her dream until she heard it again. This time, on the other side of the bedroom, Noah jerked straight and awake. The two of them exchanged confused looks. 

_ God, he looks stunning, _ she thought at the sight of him running a hand through his messy hair and then yawn. 

Every morning she imagined waking up next to him, running a hand down his soft skin and kissing him softly.

And every morning, he looked at her with the same longing and imagined she would be next to him and how he would pull her closer to him under the blankets and would kiss her neck from behind. 

Every morning, the two of them woke up on two opposite sides of the same room, in bed with someone they didn’t want to be with. 

Well, Artemis loved Bobby. Just not in the way he wished she loved him. It was no secret that he had feelings for her and it killed her every day that she couldn’t reciprocate them but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t run away from the way she felt for Noah. 

As the crying continued and got louder, everyone started waking up and whining at the sound. 

“Is that ...babies?” Bobby mumbled with a sleepy voice and eyes half closed. Artemis nodded with a pained face. 

“That’s what it sounds like.” 

Suddenly, Bobby jumped awake. “BABIES!’ 

Artemis watched him and the others run out of the room towards the source of the sound and sauntered behind them. Babies were the last thing on the universe she needed at that moment. Not just the babies but  _ Noah with babies.  _ It was a well known fact that Noah’s huge dream was to build a family and be a father. Something that Hope definitely wasn’t into and for some unknown reason he was willing to bend backwards for her and brush it off like it was no big deal. 

However, it was a very big deal. Artemis often daydreamt of what the future could possibly hold for her and it always ended in a happy house with a beautiful garden and a couple of kids to laugh and run around. Of course, she loved her studies and loved the idea of becoming a scientist, but none of it mattered if she wasn’t loved by someone. She desperately wanted and needed to be loved. After all, she was willing to give just as much and more love and affection. 

“Oh my goodness! Lottie, yours is adorable!” Noah exclaimed looking at all the baby dolls. 

Her heart sank. First, because of Noah already holding the baby expertly and second, because of Bobby smiling over a yellow bassinet that she guessed was theirs. 

That was going to be a hard day for sure. 

“Artemis, come see how cute the baby is! What are we going to name it?” Bobby urged and waved her over. She decided to at least have fun with him since he was nice enough to put up with her pining sorrow every other day. It was something that was going to make him happy and a good distraction. 

“Hmmm, do we want a son or a daughter?” she smiled and he beamed at her. If anything, Bobby was definitely going to be fun to do the challenge with. She saw a wild trail of thoughts slide through his brown eyes, unsure what to say. 

“A son? No. A daughter. No. Son. “

“Let’s have a son, shall we?” she offered and earned herself another smile from him. A son with Bobby. 

“Can we name him Jamie? Unless you have a better idea, then we can go with yours.” 

In that second, she saw with her peripheral vision, that Noah stole a short gaze at them and that made her feel a bit better for some reason. It was only fair if they both struggled. 

“Let’s go with Jamie. He looks like a Jamie to me.” she nodded and took the doll out of the bassinet. Bobby chuckled at her and kissed her cheek lightly. “Should we pick some clothes for him?” 

They moved to the table that had some clothes and other supplies stacked on. It appeared that all the couples had fallen in their own little universe of customizing their kids as no one talked to the others until they received the text announcing the challenge. Artemis sighed deeply and tried to make herself look on the brighter side of things. It couldn’t go  _ that  _ bad, could it? Bobby and her were a great team and they always had fun. He also knew about the way she felt about Noah and how badly her heart was breaking. The whole Villa knew there was something between her and Noah since Operation Nope had occurred but only a few of them really knew the extent it went to. Hope had let it go hoping that it was long dead, so Artemis tried to hide as much of her feelings as she possibly could and hoped that the producers weren’t focusing too much on the moments her and Noah were having in between takes when they would steal loving looks and exchange mellow sparks by an accidental touch of skin. 

She needed to avoid Noah and how annoyingly cute he was as dad. She couldn’t take the sight of him doing everything perfectly and being so excited to be a dad, even if it was a doll he was parenting. What was worse was that Hope was for sure going to be beyond obnoxious about it and somehow make it about her. The same scenario repeated every time and Artemis’ nerves were running thinner and thinner. 

At one point during the day, she was sitting on a day bed with Lottie and Gary while Bobby had volunteered to take Jamie for a stroll around the Villa with the other boys. 

To everyone’s surprise Lozza and Gary turned out to be the best in the game, spending the whole day together and taking turns to take care of their doll. Artemis had no idea either one of them would be so into it but she found it very cute. 

“How are you doing, babes? You’ve been looking real grim today.” Lottie called her out. She looked around before responding, making sure that no one else would hear them. 

“I can’t do this anymore. I’m drowning here. ” she whispered and looked down at her fingers that were picking at each other anxiously. “I think I love him.” 

Lottie’s and Gary’s eyes widened and they exchanged a short look. Both of them were in on Artemis’ big secret and so far they hadn’t judged her. At least she had found a stable group of friends on the island. 

“Hope will definitely not like that. “ Gary mumbled, worry sounding in his voice. 

Artemis shook her head and bit her lips. 

“I don’t know what to do. He will never do anything about it. I  _ know  _ he feels it too. Why won’t he just be honest with everyone? It’s not fair towards Hope either. There’s no point in me being here anymore.”

“Oh, babe…” Lottie handed Gary the baby and leaned across the bed to hug her friend. Artemis relaxed in her arms and sighed, tears stinging in her beautiful hazel eyes. However, she couldn’t let herself cry. Not in front of the cameras and not in front of everyone around them. Especially not  _ him. _

Noah had been going through his own excruciating journey that day. Hope had left him to deal with baby Brenden all alone and was off doing god knows what. He found that he enjoyed her absence more than he was willing to admit and he actually had some fun playing pretend with the doll. At times it had got a little too real maybe but he didn’t seem to mind. Him and Hannah had bonded over their mutual interest in the dolls and the game it required. But no matter how far away he’d made his legs walk, his eyes always searched for  _ hers.  _ He’d seen her and Bobby play with their baby Jamie at one point during the day and it had killed him to see her laugh and...look happy with someone else. She seemed to know how to do all the required things but there was something off about the way she was doing them. It looked forced as if she didn’t want to touch the damn doll, even if she seemed like she was genuinely enjoying Bobby’s company and his goofy dad jokes. It was obvious from miles away that the boy had a mad crush on her but didn’t dare to do anything about it and he wasn’t sure why. It couldn’t have been because of him. He didn’t think he was worthy of her feelings. Infatuation maybe, girls usually found him desirable, but he didn’t think that Artemis herself would develop feelings for him serious enough to sabotage a potential relationship with someone else. 

After the girls had come back from Casa Amor, the two of them hadn’t had a good chance to reconnect properly but he couldn’t help but crave her from the distance. After all, she had come back alone, hoping that he would have stuck with her, but he hadn’t and that had definitely put a dent in their relationship. It had made him feel like an idiot and it had made her feel insecure. To top it all off, he had decided to make up with Hope right in front of everyone. Why had he even done that? Why had he been scared to tell her how he really felt? He beat himself up for not listening to Gary and the other boys that told him over and over again that if his head can be turned it’s not the right one. He’d known Hope wasn’t  _ it _ and yet he didn’t have the strength to break it off with her. Maybe because of his past or maybe because he was scared of Hope’s wrath that was definitely going to be unleashed on TV. But he really missed Artemis and the jealousy that raged inside him every time one of the other boys put a smile on her face or every time her lips kissed another was very alarming. 

The taste of her lips had embedded in his brain so desperately and every time she spoke, he could only think of the one night when they were coupled up and how he had asked to kiss her and how eager she had been to be close to him and the two times they had had sex secretly. It had felt right to hold her and caress her skin. As right as breathing. Like the two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that you spend hours looking for and in the end when they finally find their place, a shot of dopamine shoots through your body. 

Loving Artemis was easy. She had basically opened her heart in the beginning of the season, making it known that she had come for love. 

All he knew was that he wanted to kiss her again. Hold her slender body against his and not let go. There was something about the way she made him feel. He never had to think about his words around her in fear that she would misunderstand or judge. She had managed to make being a librarian exciting and found a thrill in everything. 

_ Artemis.  _

He shook his head and pushed down his thoughts in his Artemis chest that had become like Pandora’s box at that point. If he dared to open it, a whole bunch of desperate and painful hopes, dreams and life scenarios flew out and overtook his mind until he shoved them back. It wasn’t right. Forcing himself away from her wasn’t right. 

_ A swim will help,  _ he thought and walked to the pool, baby Brenden strapped to his chest, giggling occasionally, reminding him of how Hope was never going to be able to give him that. The fact that she wasn’t there to do her part was a big enough teller that she wasn’t into it...or him. And he wasn’t sure which was worse.

Hannah joined him in the water with her doll shortly after. Apparently Lucas wasn’t too into the idea of kids either, so the two of them were the ones to do the most part. The conversations with her had been empty and pointless however. His gaze kept straying towards the patch of orange and green that Artemis looked like from afar until he had to force himself to look back at Brenden and play with him as a distraction. It worked since he actually liked the baby. The idea of being a parent made him happy. 

The sound of Artemis’ laughter filled his ears. It wasn’t just a light giggle. It was a whole outburst and it sounded happy. A smile stretched on his face while he looked for the location of it and finally found her on the lawn bent forwards laughing her ass off and two arms holding her stomach while Bobby had fallen on the grass with Jamie. Noah had no idea what had happened there but the two of them looked like they were having fun. 

He used the moment to check the horizon for Hope and after a long minute of searching, he couldn’t find her. Of course. A part of him felt bad for her and her lack of knowledge or control. A part of him felt for  _ her. _ That was the other reason why he hadn’t broken up with her yet. He couldn’t handle to hurt someone like that. Especially not in front of millions of eyes that were watching their every move. And he had feelings for her as well...or did he? It was a very sticky situation that just kept getting stickier by the minute.

Artemis had almost forgotten how sad she had woken up. With Bobby being a goofy adorable dad, it was hard to mope around. 

However, she wasn’t sure how and when her legs had walked her over to the pool. Where  _ Noah  _ was. He was playing peek-a-boo with Brenden, Hannah and...Romeo? The moment that absolutely hit her was when he had gone a little too hard and the doll had started crying, so he took him in his arms, rocked him and said “Shhh, there we go. Who’s daddy’s little guy?” 

_ It wasn’t fair.  _

Her heart tightened at the image of Noah holding a real baby that her brain had projected. Although the doll was fake, the sparkle of excitement and love in his amber eyes was real. She wanted to scream. 

Apparently, Bobby had caught that because he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer, fingers running soothingly across her back. A silent gesture of support. The two of them sat next to Hannah and engaged in another blank conversation with her and Noah about how parenting was a learned habit and not a birth talent. Artemis wanted to run but she couldn’t stay away from him either. It hadn’t been so painful until that day. Yeah, it was annoying that he was still with Hope and hadn’t spoken up about his obvious feelings but it wasn’t so torturous until then. 

She shot a sharp breath through her nose in an attempt to chase off every thought in her head and fortunately the universe graced her with a good opportunity to think about something else. 

“No way!” Bobby shouted and held the baby doll up in the air, clear liquid dripping on top of him. She couldn’t help but snort laugh and in a second he joined in and giggled to himself. 

“Looks like he needs his nappy changed.” Noah noted. “I could help you with it if you need help.” 

“Su…” Bobby started but was interrupted by Artemis. 

“I think we’ll be fine. “ Artemis snapped with a cold tone and sent him a fake smile. She had no idea why the rude attitude. Maybe the cup had filled all the way to the top. Or her mind was protecting her from the situation of her and Noah changing a diaper together like the happy couple they were not. There was no way she would survive that. Not in a million years.

“Hey man, do you mind if we borrow a diaper? I don’t think we packed any. Where did you even get all these things?” Bobby huffed with a confused face, trying to gain control of the situation before Artemis’ anger had taken over. 

“A parent is always prepared.” Noah smiled. “Help yourself out. “ 

Without saying anything else Artemis took whatever she needed or at least whatever she thought she needed from Noah’s bag. She didn’t have much experience with kids. The only sibling she had was her brother James and he was her twin. The two of them had grown up to be extremely close but no change of diapers had occurred. She had never nannied either. Unlike some of her friends that had worked as babysitters throughout high school or university, Artemis had gone a slightly different path and had made money as a go-go dancer in a nightclub during the first 3 years of university. 

Something she had though were her high maternal instincts and all the movies she’d watched and the bizarre TLC shows she had drunkenly stared at during the weirdest hours of the night. 

Right. 

She stared at the doll for a few seconds while trying to gather her thoughts, Bobby, Hannah and Noah watching her intently. 

“You sure you don’t need any help?” Noah asked again. 

“Yes, I’m sure.” she cut off again and that shot her brain in gear. 

“You can do it, babe. I believe in you.” Bobby cheered and put a gentle hand on her leg. “I’d help you but I honestly am not too sure how to do this either.” 

She smiled at him widely, partially because she genuinely enjoyed his enthusiasm and partially because she wanted to make sure Noah knew that she was salty with him. 

And oh, he did. 

She changed the wet diaper with certain grace, while also trying to make sure that her hands weren’t shaking too hard. 

“You did it!” Hannah chimed. “You made it look so easy. I think I can do it too now.” 

Well, at least that was that. 

“I’ll go throw these away and refill Jamie’s and our bottles. “ Bobby informed and grabbed the used wipes and the wet diaper. 

“I’ll come with you. I gotta find Lucas too. It’s his turn with Romeo.” Hannah joined and stood up. 

Artemis cursed under her breath. She wasn’t sure if she was happy to finally get a moment alone with Noah or livid. Either way, she was stuck there for the time being. Bobby winked at Artemis before walking away with Hannah and she responded with a shy smile. Jamie giggled randomly in her arms and she hugged him tighter, seeking comfort. The absence of Bobby made her feel vulnerable. 

Noah lifted himself up and sat next to her, water dripping down his sculpted body that she couldn’t help but desire. The body that she had touched several times and it had made her chest tingle. 

She sighed miserably. 

“You’re upset with me.” he said after a minute of silence. Of course he knew she was upset. Her aura had been so violently heavy and dark. 

“Noah...I can’t be here anymore. This challenge is killing me. You’re killing me. Of course I’m upset with you. I think...I think I have to give up. There’s nothing for me here anymore. You obviously don’t like me enough and that’s fine, I get it. But I really can’t...watch you do all this.” 

His expression changed from soft and concerned to very perturbed. He had no idea what to say but the burning feeling in his chest spread quickly all over his body. Shame, embarrassment, regret, sorrow, anger. A mixture of everything weighed on him and he felt like his head was under the water and he couldn’t swim out. He rubbed his face with his hands and suddenly felt like his skin didn’t belong to him. He readjusted himself and while doing that, their hands touched. 

She almost jumped as if it burned her and stared at their touching fingers for a short second before their eyes met. 

_ God, she was beautiful, _ he thought and froze, too scared that any movement would scare her away. But no, she didn’t move either. Her fingers laced with his and squeezed hard as a scream for help.  _ An olive branch.  _

An olive branch he didn’t grab onto. 

Their eyes didn’t let go for what felt like a century and she could swear she saw molten gold move inside his amber irises, his lips were damp and so kissable it almost hurt her to not lean forward and kiss him passionately. Judging by the way his gaze moved across her face, he was thinking the same. 

Finally, Noah looked away. “Do you know where Hope is? I’ve not seen her since we picked up the dolls.” 

_ Of-fucking-course.  _

“I think she was freaking out at the fire pit with the other girls earlier.” Artemis mumbled and looked back at the blue water and the ripples the movement of her feet was creating. 

“I was afraid of that. “ 

The previous anger returned inside her, so she bit her lip harder and harder until the pain was intense enough to distract her from the fire inside. Every minute spent in the Villa confirmed how her time there was overdue. Noah was not going to leave Hope out of fear and she was not going to fall in love with Bobby overnight. 

The rest of the day had only got harder as she had to watch Noah leave the baby behind for Hope which was so ridiculously problematic in her eyes but she had no energy left to speak up about it, the baby race with the girls happened, the boys went to the beach and then the girls went there. 

That had been nice. Artemis ran straight into the water followed by Lottie and Chelsea and the three of them had played in the water for a while before laying on the sand with the others.

It wasn’t all bad. The day had offered some good moments and laughs and the impending sense of dumping had spread over everyone. The finale of the show was coming closer and closer and soon one more couple was going to be dumped from the Island. 

Artemis almost couldn’t believe herself when the heavy feeling of homesickness overtook her. It wasn’t that she missed her home but more like she wished to leave. Leave and move on. She wanted to see her brother too. James had been her safe house their whole lives. After their parents’ divorce he had taken over the guardian role. She also wondered what he thought about her choice of men on the show. He was probably going to whine about the bad choices she’d made and then he was going to give her a tight hug and tell her that he would have probably done the same thing. 

When the challenge was over, everyone headed to the lounge room to leave the babies. 

“I think I’m going to miss that doll. “ Bobby said and put an arm around Artemis’ waist. She leaned on his shoulder and sighed. Playing house with Bobby definitely turned out to be fun. Jamie had been quite a cute baby too. “Me too. “ 

“I didn’t expect to get that emotional either. That was really fun, Artemis. You were a good mom. “ 

They exchanged smiles and broke off their embrace. “Yeah, you’re a great dad. Shall we go get ready? “ 

Bobby nodded and Artemis made her way to the door but noticed he didn’t move. “Bobby? Are you coming?” 

She turned around to see Bobby hunched over the cod with a cute smile on his face. “One more thing. “ he reached in to touch the baby and his finger tip booped Jamie’s nose. “Boop. “ 

Artemis nearly melted like a popsicle in an Australian summer. Bobby was a god damn treasure and she cursed herself for not being able to be in love with him instead.

The film crew came to take away the babies, so Artemis went to the dressing room where the rest of the girls already were. Everyone was bubbly and chirpy, excited to see who won, including her. 

“Oh my god, guys. I’ve got a text!” Hannah announced and that managed to kill the happy vibe. 

“Boys! Text! Text! Text!” Chelsea screamed and Henrik was the first one to make it to the door. 

“Who’s having sex?” 

Artemis couldn’t help but burst out. 

“What? No! A text. “ Hope cut out and rolled her eyes. 

“I heard there was sex?” Gary joined and only added to Artemis’ entertainment. 

“No, Gaz. Text. “ 

“Someone said sex?” Rahim piled too. Half of the girls facepalmed. 

Apparently Noah was the only one with proper hearing. “Text?” 

“No! Sex! No, I mean text.” Chelsea stuttered. 

After a long moment of figuring out that Hannah got a text and no one was having sex, she read the message:

“ _ Islanders, congratulations on being parents for the day. Some of you did better than others. It’s time to find out who was the Yummiest Mummy and the real Daddy Cool. Please make your way to the fire pit for the results. #parentaladvised #rockabyebaby”  _

“That will be fun. Safe to say that we won’t win. “ Noah groaned with a pained face. 

It was safe to say Artemis and Bobby weren’t going to win either. Especially not after Artemis broke the baby during the girl race, Bobby threw it too far up and then dropped it and then he detached its legs during the yoga or generally because they weren’t a real couple. No way. 

And they didn’t. Lottie and Gary snatched the victory. Chelsea and Henrik, Artemis and Bobby ended up in the bottom, with the fewest votes from the public. 

No one dared to say a thing at first. Unsure how to react. It was the first time for Artemis was in the bottom and she wasn’t sure how she felt about it at first but maybe that was the universe sending her a ticket home. Maybe it really was time to go home. 

However she didn’t want to drag Bobby down with her. Him and Chelsea were the two people on the world she didn’t doubt deserved the best. 

“Come on. Let’s have a chat. “ Bobby pulled her hand and the two of them sat on a day bed. She buried her face in his chest and swallowed some tears that wanted to leak out so badly. 

“I’m sorry. “ she apologized. 

“What for? I think we did great. “ he stroked her hair gently and wrapped an arm around her for comfort. 

“You know why. I ruined your chance of..“

“Shhh, no. You didn’t ruin anything. “ he put a finger under her chin and pulled her face up to look in her eyes. “You did your best. We both did. We failed together and that’s okay. Look on the brighter side, we have a killer new family now. We have  _ each other.  _ “ 

The tears won and rolled down Artemis’ porcelain face. She believed she didn’t deserve what Bobby was giving her. Didn’t deserve the understanding. “You’re the most amazing friend, you know? I don’t fucking deserve you. Not after I broke your heart. And for what? For someone who doesn’t want me. “ 

“Nonsense, babe. You deserve everything on this world. “ 

After another minute the rest of the Islanders made their way back to the firepit, so Artemis and Bobby joined them. Chelsea grabbed Artemis’ hand once they were sitting and squeezed it hard. 

Noah’s phone pinged and he sent Artemis a pained look before he read the message. 

“The couple that will leave the Villa tonight are…” he read dreadfully. A second text arrived. “Artemis and Bobby.” 

Artemis’ heart dropped to her heels and her body froze. Panic filled her body and she felt like a panic attack was approaching. She felt the urge to run to Noah’s arms and scream at him for not taking all the chances she’d given him. 

As if he knew exactly what she was thinking, he was staring at her with that same panic in his eyes.  _ He’d voted for Henrik and Chelsea.  _

Any plan he’d had to break things off with Hope before the finale had gone through the window. It was over. 

Over. 

Chelsea threw herself in Artemis’ arms and started crying. 

“Oh wow, didn’t think it would be you two.” Hannah noted. All the Islanders piled up to say their goodbyes. 

Artemis’ phone pinged. She barely reached for it as her hands were shaking uncontrollably and big crocodile tears were rushing to her eyes again. 

“ _ Artemis and Bobby, your fellow Islanders have voted for you to be dumped from the Island. Please pack your bags and make your way out to the front. #goodbyesarehard #fivecouplesremain”  _ she read, her voice a shaky mess. She didn’t want to leave. No. She wanted to leave with Noah. 

“Come on babe, we’ll help you pack. “ Lottie pulled Artemis and Chelsea and dragged them to the bedrooms. Chelsea looked like more of a mess than Artemis at that point. 

“I can’t believe you’re leaving! It was supposed to be us three.” she cried and hugged Artemis once again. “We’re hanging out as soon as I’m out. Pinky promise me! We’ll go to a cat cafe!” 

She stuck her pinky out. Artemis smiled and twisted pinkies with her. A cat cafe date with Chelsea definitely sounded like the best date. 

“Thank you for voting for me.” she finally said. “I really have nothing to do here. “ 

Lottie sighed deeply with relief and nodded. “Yeah, we figured you would want that. We’ll miss you so much, babes. Are you holding up okay?” 

“Yeah. I mean...I wish..he...Nevermind. Everything will be okay. I know it. I can’t wait to see my brother and my mum. I have Bobby to keep me company too. ” 

“I hope he’s not too upset about going home.” 

“I’m sure he will forgive you. “ she winked at Lozza and threw another piece of swimwear in the small silver suitcase. 

She packed quickly with the help of the girls and made her way to the front door where everyone was already waiting. 

Chelsea almost managed to not cry but it was inevitable, so Henrik pulled in a warm embrace. 

Noah looked gobsmacked. No words could describe all the emotion hiding in his eyes and the pain that squeezed his whole body. 

Artemis went around hugging everyone and when she stood in front of Noah, she almost wanted to run but also wanted to either hug him or maybe punch him, she wasn’t sure which one. He looked at her for a second and then pulled her in his arms. He lowered his head until his lips brushed her ear. 

“I’m sorry.” he whispered and let her go. Her mouth twisted in a forced smile and walked away without saying anything. She didn’t care about his apology at all. If he really wanted to be with her, he would have made it work, she thought. 

“Well...I can’t believe my time has come. “ she started her goodbye speech. “ I also can’t believe that I’ve met such amazing people and can’t wait until that sunday brunch with you lot. Lottie, babe, do me a favor and win that thing. You and Gary deserve it. “ she winked at her friend and grabbed Bobby’s hand and tоgether they walked to the black jeep. 

It was over.

******************

The jeep stopped and members of the crew opened the doors for them to get out. In front of them stood a completely different and way smaller Villa. 

“Looks cute.” Artemis commented and made her way in with Bobby next to her. 

“Can we cook something?Maybe have a drink too.” he asked one of the assistants. 

“I mean...the ideal option would be to get some takeout but there for sure is some wine in there. We’ll ask you some questions for a minute once you get settled and some tiny formalities and then you’re good to go until your flight. A therapist will also want to talk to you. If you need anything else, there will be someone with you in the house. They won’t bother you, so make yourself at home. “ she shot out. Artemis liked her. She was one of the assistants that Artemis liked. Overall the whole crew was wonderful but this one might have been a bit of a favorite of hers. 

Several hours passed in them talking to producers, assistants and a psychologist. By the time everyone was gone, both of them were officially mentally and physically exhausted. The good news was that there was wine. Good wine. Wine that they just kept pouring in their glasses, allowing themselves to get drunk for the first time since they’d entered the Villa. 

They were sat on a big, white leather couch, soft light illuminating their faces and reflecting the tipsy sparkle in their eyes. The house was small but definitely expensively furnished. It looked almost sterile and it was obvious that no one lived there but was only used for the show. At first Artemis had felt a tiny bit uncomfortable by how organized everything was but as the time and wine went by, she stopped caring. Apparently Bobby was on the same page after there was already one bottle empty on the couch next to them. 

“So what will you do now?” he asked and beamed drunkenly at her. He tried to make himself look sober and serious but it wasn’t very Bobby of him, so he failed and instead looked maybe even drunker. 

“Graduate, make some money to pay off my debt, invest a little, be happy, move on from... _ him _ . “ her gaze trailed off, suddenly remembering Noah and how he was still in the main Villa, talking to the others, holding Hope, kissing her, going to bed with her. 

“Artemis…” 

“No, Bobby, I don’t want to talk about Noah. I’m sorry. “ she cut off and chugged the last sip of wine in her glass. That one was for sure going to be the one that pushes her over the ledge of being tipsy to being drunk. “I just want to forget him.” 

“May I ask why we didn’t work? I thought everything was going well until….Lucas and Operation Nope. What happened?” so much hurt hid in his voice. Bitter, stinging pain. “Am I not good enough? What does he have that I don’t?” 

_ Oh god…  _ That hurt badly. She couldn’t live with how much pain she’d inflicted on him by hurting over Noah. It wasn’t fair that he was suffering too.

“I don’t think I can explain it. It’s just… sometimes you know...and sometimes you don’t know. When I kissed him...I knew and I thought he knew as well. But I was wrong apparently. It has nothing to do with you and how good you are because you are amazing. It’s just…Bobby, I’m sorry...” 

Their eyes met and in that moment, no words were needed. He could see exactly what she meant and how she felt. Knew exactly what she needed and wanted. She needed to be loved. Loved like the man she wanted to didn’t love her. 

“Remember that one time in the bathroom?” he spoke quietly as if he was sharing a secret. 

“What about it?” 

The one time in the bathroom when Noah and Hope were fighting and her and Bobby had hidden in shower cabin to...get away, however Artemis had halted things before they had gone all the way. 

“I wanted to…” he looked out of the window for a split second, took another sip and then looked back at her. She wasn’t sure if he was teasing her on purpose or if he was just too drunk to think clearly but frankly, so she was. 

“You wanted to what, Bobby?” 

New kind of tension exploded between them and a part of her hated that she was feeling it.  _ It must be the wine,  _ she thought. Was it the wine? But she didn’t care. She already knew what he wanted to say. 

“Are you sure you want me to tell you?” 

“No.” 

His face fell but then just when he was about to agree she spoke again.

“I want you to show me. “ 

Bobby’s face twisted in shock and then with excitement. His brown eyes widened and looked at her with disbelief but her face looked as serious as ever, hinting that she meant what she said. She waited for him. 

Deep down, he knew she didn’t love him and knew that she needed something to distract her from her broken heart. He didn’t blame her. Not only that but he was willing to give her what she wanted. Because he wanted  _ her _ . 

Bobby leaned quickly towards her, his hand cupping her face while his lips touched hers ever so softly at first and once she kissed him back, he dared to pour some more passion into it. The kiss grew longer and hungrier. Their tongues touched and explored each other frantically. It had been a while since they had tasted each other but they both remembered the feeling so clearly. Bobby was usually a gentle kisser but at that moment all of that was gone and all that had left was frustrated thirst that he had bottled up for the past month while he watched the girl he liked pine after another guy that was clearly unworthy of her love. Not that Noah and him weren’t good friends but he wasn’t sure that he deserved the amount of hours and tears Artemis had spent on him. He felt secret guilt that him and Lottie had helped Nope remain a couple when Artemis was clearly interested. 

She bit his lip and he moaned deeply with pleasure that only excited the living volcano of emotions that was buried inside her. Nothing existed outside of that room. Neither one of them cared that maybe that wasn’t the best decision. That maybe they could regret it. It wasn’t important. 

She left the wine glass on the floor and straddled him almost without breaking the kiss, while his hands held her steady but also explored the skin under her white shirt. He definitely remembered the feel of her skin and how soft she was and the sweet moans that escaped her mouth when she was touched in specific places. Although they had become best friends, he knew exactly where to go and touch to make her feel good and he had every intention of doing so. It was a problem for future Artemis and Bobby to deal with. 

Present Artemis was grinding on him heavily while he traced shapes on her back and kissed her neck fervently. 

“Fuck me, Bobby. “ she hissed in his ear, giving him the goosebumps. She wasn’t looking to make sweet love. She wanted to be fucked until she couldn’t take it anymore and until there was no clear thought left in her head. She wanted to be fucked until she forgot everything and that was something he could definitely do. 

He picked her up by her hips and wobbled to the bedroom. For a second he almost dropped her but she squeezed her thighs tightly and held herself on him until he kicked open the door and basically threw her on the bed. She fell on the bed with a shallow thump and after he threw his button up shirt somewhere behind, she pulled him to her lips again, inviting him to do the same to her. Throw her clothes in some corner of the room and take in her body. They should have probably not done it…….or perhaps it was the best thing to do to deal with whatever they were dealing with.

The feeling of Bobby’s soft hand gliding all over her felt amazing. Him knowing exactly what she liked from the time they were couple up. 

His lips trailed down her neck to her chest and once he reached the rim of her bra, she unclasped it and chucked it in one of the corners, scared that he might stop. 

But he didn’t. His kisses kept mapping a trail down until one of her nipples came in the way and he had no choice but to finally confirm that the night was going to end in the way they both wanted. The tip of his tongue explored one nipple first then the other while she moaned and laced her fingers with his hair, but then she fell impatient. She couldn’t wait any longer. Her fingers reached for his zipper but he slapped her hands away. 

“Nuh uh. Not so fast. “ he ordered and grinned at her unhappy frown. He wanted to touch her first, give her more attention, make sure she was  _ ready _ . 

Artemis’ arms fell limp on the bed as she refused to touch him in a way of protest but she didn’t realize that it was very pointless. If anything, it only enabled him to perform more. 

While his hands held her waist and her thigh, his mouth kept going down, leaving little red marks as if to mark the distance from her neck to her panty line, his thumbs massaging her sides. 

“Holy shit, Bobby, just fuck me already. “ she whined once his lips touched the brim of her pants. He grinned yet again, visibly enjoying her frustration and unbuttoned the tight jeans and with her aid took them off. 

“Oh no. Not yet.” 

His hands moved and pulled off the black lace that her panties were made of and they flew across the room somewhere where her bra and his shirt were. Artemis was barely holding by the seams. Her skin was burning with desire, her whole body pressing against his at every point of contact. He took a good look at her. Her legs tightly wrapped around him, almost shaking with anticipation, her face grumpy but a wild fire burning inside her forest eyes, waiting for her one wish to come true. She looked gorgeous in the dim light of the night lamp. For a second he wondered if whoever was in the house with them knew what was going on but his focus shifted back on the stunning woman in front of him again and forgot about the possibility that someone could hear them. 

He lifted her leg a little, only so his lips could kiss her inner thigh teasingly and linger there, slowly making their way down. Artemis huffed and puffed, waiting for him to taste her finally, every inch of her body tingling. 

Once the trail of kisses and love bites had come to an end, he took one last look at her before his mouth kissed her center and took out the loudest moan out of her so far. His opened his mouth to let his tongue taste her and draw another pleasured sound from her. He found that the pride he felt when she only got louder and louder was addicting. 

Her fingers tangled in his hair and held him down. He was too good at this. His tongue knew exactly how to move over her clit and how much pressure to apply to make her legs shake and make her forget how to breathe. For a moment she even wondered why she had broken things off with him. He wrapped an arm around her leg to hold her still as she moved with ecstasy. It was his mission to make a point and give his best performance. Make her completely unable to hold her screams and drive her absolutely crazy. 

He reached his hand up and cupped one of her breasts and gently brushed across her nipple to add to the already strong sensation going through her whole body. Her breaths drew shorter and shorter until she was almost unable to take a normal breath. 

Finally, he decided it was time. She was on the line of being ready to cum, so he stopped right there and took off his pants. A wild memory of a lone condom that he had put in his suitcase floated to the surface of his brain and he jumped out of the bed to get it. 

“What are you doing?” she asked demandingly. 

“We have to play it safe, don’t we, lass?” he replied and went through his all of his clothes until he found the dark red wrapper and showed it to her. She smirked with enthusiasm and waited for him to come back to bed. 

“Turn around. “ he ordered and shook his head to the side. 

“Oh?” she exclaimed but obeyed and flipped around flat on her tummy. 

Bobby sighed hungrily, visibly enjoying the sight that she was. He made a mental note that Artemis had a great butt and slid his knees closer to her then lightly spread her legs and dragged his thumb in the curve on the bottom of her ass and gave it a squeeze.  _ That  _ was definitely a sight. His fingers slid across her wet pussy and went inside her to prepare her for what was to come next. They both moaned with pleasure. She was so wet and ready, her legs lightly shook, impatient to finally have him inside her. 

He supported his body on one arm while the other helped him adjust as he slowly slid inside her, drawing a long choked moan from her and a deep huff from him as her walls tightened around his dick. She grabbed a handful of the soft sheet and lifted her butt so he could go deeper. 

“God, you’re so beautiful.” he whispered at the sight of her hair that spilled all around her and her arched back. She couldn’t respond to it since he had started building an even pace and her mouth was too busy making sounds that couldn’t melt into words. It felt so good, goosebumps traveled across her skin every time his tip hit against her wall. The only thing she could think about was that moment and nothing else. Not even the desire for Noah could compare to the ardour that was spilling between her and Bobby. He fucked her good. Way too good. She had no idea how long it went on for, but she knew that she didn’t want it to end. 

At one point she buried her face in a pillow as her moans got so loud under the intensity of his thrusts and his own moans and once the first orgasmic wave washed over her, she punched the mattress and let herself scream with severe delight. He almost came too but he thought it wasn’t time yet. She needed more and so he gave her more. 

He slowed down to give them both a small break and once they had managed to catch up breathing, he grabbed her hips and turned her around. Her eyes met his and looked at him in a way she hadn’t looked at him for a while. Like she wanted him, although he knew that she didn’t and they were both just so drunk, but at that moment it made him happy. 

Artemis lifted herself into sitting position and kissed him passionately then pushed him back and climbed on top of him. Together they adjusted again and merged bodies into a new position. Her on top of him, swaying her hips back and forth while they kissed and moaned into each other’s mouths. 

A thing about Bobby was that he was always gentle even at most passionate of times. Always so careful to not hurt her in any way and making sure to keep her safe and stable but also fucking her thoughts and breath away until she was a shaking mess. 

This time he couldn’t help it and they started climbing the same ladder of delirium together until he squeezed her butt and in return she wrapped one arm around his neck and leaned on his shoulder, mouth to his ear and they came together in perfect harmony. 

They fell on top of each other tired and breathless. The realization that they had just had sex hadn’t hit yet and neither one of them was looking forward the second it did, scared they might regret it. 

However Artemis definitely felt better. The sweet exhaustion weighed on her eyes and the fatigue in her muscles made her sleepy. 

Bobby felt the same. Relieved and drunkenly happy with Artemis on top of him in his arms. 

They lay in silence for a while, each in their own bubble of thoughts, until they had to fix the mess they had made. The only shame they felt was from the chance that whatever unlucky assistant was in the house with them had definitely heard their little shenanigan. 

Artemis quietly walked to the kitchen, after a quick visit to the bathroom, to get water for her and Bobby and ran back to the bedroom and left one glass on Bobby’s side for when he came back from the bathroom. 

She wasn’t sure what to even tell him. What do you tell your best friend after you just had sex with them? Thank you? I’m sorry? 

Bobby came back with the same goofy smile on his face, naked and proud. He gulped the water and made himself comfortable on the bed next to her. He didn’t look bothered, so that was a relief for Artemis. Strangely, she didn’t feel bothered either. 

“Bobby, do you think that was a mistake?” she finally asked once they were ready to fall asleep. 

“No. Do you?” he sounded calm but concerned. More for her comfort than his own. The last thing he wanted was to push her away after he had been the one to kiss her first and initiate the whole thing by bringing up the bathroom situation. “Artemis, I’m..”

“No, I don’t. I’m glad we had this moment.” she interrupted and caressed his freckled face. He graced her with another cute smile and closed his eyes under her hand, enjoying her touch. A touch he knew could never be romantic and could never grow into more than what it already was. 

A touch he had stolen from the man she really wanted. A man that hadn’t realized how perfect she was and how much the universe had poured into. A man stupid enough to give his attention to someone that didn’t deserve it either. Why was he more worthy of Artemis’ love? What had he done better that she had fallen so deeply for him? 

She snuggled in his arms and fell asleep and while it almost hurt him to hold her, he enjoyed it one last time. 

One last time before they locked up that whole night in a box and threw it in the ocean on the way back home, never to be brought back up again as they couldn’t be together and he’d accepted that. He could never have her and she could never be his Artemis. Not while she was Noah’s Artemis at least. 

And she was never going to stop being Noah’s Artemis. 


	2. how i wish you were mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby and Artemis walk on parallel paths and neither one of them can move on from who they love. However, while Artemis pines over Noah, Bobby can't stop thinking about Artemis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently, I have no inspiration for anything else but Bobby pain and angst, so cheers to his precious soul getting torn apart.

Bobby shifted in bed, awoken by the girl next to him’s body moving around the bed restlessly. _ She can’t sleep properly either, _he observed and got out of bed, unable to get another second of rest. The moment he stood up, the hard pang of a migraine hit him. The wine from last night, of course. Red wine never did him any favors and they had surely tried to drown whatever sorrows they had been building up in the last month. In another second everything that had happened came back to him. Random flashbacks of her naked body and her lips screaming his name into his ear, the way her nails dug into his skin and her sharp breaths. Is that why he felt like there is a massive hole in his chest? It felt like his heart had shrunk at least twice in size and it almost didn’t dare to make a beat. 

“What a fucking idiot!” he whispered to himself and rubbed his face. He hoped that it was a dream. One of those really wildly realistic dreams you have when you’re drunk. But his inner voice told him better. It definitely wasn’t a dream. It all had been very real. He had done something he couldn’t possibly undo and there was a lot at stake. 

The first sunrays of the day shone through the window and illuminated the shape of the woman still asleep in the bed. Her orange hair looked like the fire that burned inside her with the sun gently caressing it and giving her porcelain skin a soft glow. God damn it, she was beautiful, so beautiful.

Bobby caught himself admiring her beauty once again and immediately scolded himself for it. 

_ She will never love you the way she loves him. You’re no Noah. You’re just a hospital caterer that likes baking. _

“Bobby, are you okay?” her voice groaned, raspy from last night’s adventure. “Why are you just standing there?” 

“Yeah. I’m alright.” he grinned and plopped himself on the empty space next to her, leaving no sign of his desperation visible. “Are you hungover too?” 

“Kinda, yeah. Flying will be a massive bitch with that headache, huh.” 

“It’s a short flight to London. You’ll survive. Are you so excited to go home? Your fam waiting for you?” 

She didn’t respond at first but instead sat up and looked down at her fingers. 

“You want to go back to the Villa, huh?” he murmured and leaned his head on her legs. 

“Don’t you?” she replied and their eyes met. Both pairs hurting but for completely different reasons. 

“Yes and no. Sure, I miss everyone and how careless we were but at the same time...there’s nothing for me there. “ 

They sat in silence for a while, each trying to realize the situation and figure out what they had done wrong. Truth was, neither one of them had made a bad move. They were just stuck in a circle of heartbreak and utter despair. It was nobody’s fault that they had fallen in love with the wrong person. 

A loud series of knocks on the door made them jump and pulled them away from their spiral of thoughts. 

“Wake up, guys! Flights in 3 hours. “ the assistant shouted. 

“Time to get ready then.” Artemis got out of bed and made her way to the bathroom, her lips twisted in a very deep frown. 

Bobby wasn’t sure if she was maybe upset with him but he really hoped that they hadn’t completely massacred the friendly bond that had been established. Hell, if he couldn’t make her love him the way he loved her, he at least wanted to keep her in his life in any other way. He didn't even mind being her friend. She was way too lovely for him to just let go. 

After all, she used to be _ his Artemis _before that one cursed kiss that was also his fault. If he had never asked her to join their stupid Operation, she probably would have probably still been with him and she wouldn’t have realized that it was Noah she was so in love with. What the fuck was with Noah anyways? The guy barely spoke 2 words to anyone whose name wasn’t Hope and no one was sure if he spoke to her either. He definitely had noticed the two looking at each other longingly during the show, however he never managed to understand why that was. 

Suddenly, Bobby felt angry. Anger wasn’t a usual feeling for him and he wasn’t used to the way it made his body feel. Almost as if hot lava had been poured on him and where his soul would be. Anger and pain. 

On top of everything, Artemis was acting super frosty, right before their flight home. As if it wasn’t already bad enough. 

“Artemis?” he called, once she was back in the room, fixing her suitcase. 

“Yes?” her voice was soft but there was a hint of something else in it. Something that he wasn’t able to recognize. 

“We will see each other again, right?” 

“Of course we will. You’re family, Bobby.” she sounded surprised but still kind of...low. 

“Because I don’t want…” 

“Whatever happened last night stays in last night and in this house. We’re still friends, no matter what.” 

Fair. She didn’t want to talk about it. Or think about it, for that matter. He wanted to ask her if she regretted it but had a feeling that she would cut him off, so he never dared to. 

They got ready and packed their tiny suitcases in silence and once it was time to go, the same jeep from that had taken them away from the Villa was back to drive them to the airport. 

Away from Noah and everyone else. The show had about a week left before the finale and then everyone had to fly back for the winning announcement. 

Bobby had imagined winning with her countless times. In the beginning, when she was looking at him with the same eyes that were now looking at Noah. Before everything had gone down and they had done whatever they had done in secret. Before Artemis had realized that she could never love him because she loved someone that wasn’t willing to be honest with her and give her all the love she deserved back. 

And it hurt. It hurt to see her break apart a little bit at a time, every time Noah chose Hope and every time he gave her a little faith that they might have a future together but never doing anything to back it up. 

It hurt that the woman he loved so dearly was getting crushed by someone else and there was nothing he could do about it. 

When the girls had gone to Casa Amor, Bobby had gotten into a fight with Noah about what he was doing and it hadn’t done a god damn thing in her favor. He had still switched while she had remained loyal and had come back alone, expecting a new beginning. 

Unfair. 

“Promise me you will come to Glasgow sometime. “ he asked on the way to the airport and earned himself a stunning smile from her. 

“You know I will. I’m expecting one hell of a cake too.” 

“Oh, baby, you know it. Best of the best for you.” 

“Same goes for when you’re in London too. My home is your home. I can't bake you a killer cake but I can order a mean takeout.” 

They smiled at each other and couldn’t help but hug on the back seat. “Bobby, I’ll really miss you. I don’t know how I’ll survive without your baking, blanket forts or your pranks.” 

“I’ll miss you too, babe. We’re still partners in crime, yeah? Next time we all meet we can pull an epic prank of everyone. “ 

“You've got yourself a deal, sir.” 

The hug became longer and longer as neither one of them wanted to let go but eventually they were forced to as they parked in front of the terminal. 

The pain in Bobby’s chest became worse and his stomach clenched even harder than his heart. It was over. Love Island was over. No more texts and challenges. No more sunbathing all day and grafting. No more pranks and hanging out with the gang all day. No more recouplings. That was it and it was never coming back. 

They checked in together and walked to her gate since her flight was an hour before his. It felt like they were never going to see each other again even if they both knew that they had less than a week before they had to meet again. A whole era of their lives was about to wrap up and neither one was ready to let it go. 

“Do you reckon we should just run to the Villa and beg them to let us in?” she giggled adorably. 

“Absolutely. Ditch the luggage and run for your life. I’m sure the others would lend us some clothes.” 

An awkward pause made its entrance and danced between them until she wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed him so hard he couldn’t breathe. 

“I’m so sorry, Bobby. I really am. I wish things were different. You have no idea how much I’ll miss you.” 

“Everything will be fine. Don’t worry about it. Some things aren’t meant to be and that’s only because better ones are.”

“Did Chelsea tell you this?” 

“Maybe.” he winked playfully and they let go of their tight grasp. 

Artemis kissed him on the cheek and sauntered to the gate, boarding pass in one hand and the suitcase handle in the other. Before she completely disappeared, she turned around one more time to wave at him and he was suddenly happy that she was so far away and couldn’t see the hot tears that were pooling in his eyes. 

Why was he so sad about it? It was fine. It was totally fine. They lived ridiculously close to each other by plane and he knew that she wanted to remain close to him. So why was he feeling so heartbroken? Why did it feel like his head was being pushed underwater and he couldn’t catch but a breath? Why did it feel like he was losing her forever? 

Once she was gone, he waited until her plane took off and started an aimless journey around the terminal to kill the remaining time. He thought that maybe the walking would distract him from his vicious swarm of intrusive thoughts and memories of the summer, however the only thing it did was to clear his head and make more room for what he was initially running away from. 

One good distraction were the first fans that recognized him and ran towards him for a photo. He hadn’t even had time to realize that he was somewhat of a celebrity and walking around town was probably never going to be the same or at least not until his newlyfound fame died. 

“Was that Artemis just now?” one of them asked in a condescending tone which pushed the wrong button in his head. 

“Yeah, it was.” he responded calmly. He figured that maybe lashing out at a fan wouldn’t be the best choice no matter how much he tr…

“I can’t believe the nerve of her! You deserve so much better. Honestly, her and Noah deserve each other.” the girl carried on and he almost gave in. No matter what Artemis had done, it was no one’s business. It was between him and her. And the rest of the country that had watched the season apparently. 

“So happy to see you girls, but I’m afraid I gotta go catch a flight now!” he sneaked out of their grasp and waved with a wide smile that almost hurt him to fake. 

Maybe a night out with his boys was going to help ease the pain. It usually did when he found himself in the middle of the heartbreak. 

He made it safe home, through crowds of people recognizing him and smothering him in compliments and attention that he wasn’t ready for. Yeah, he figured that his name would go up the social ladder, however he had no idea what the cameras had shown to the millions watching and frankly, a part of him was terrified of finding out. The fact that everyone had seen him do bits with several girls wasn't helping his insecure nature either. 

Being back in the real world hit him like a nasty sucker punch. Everything had prices, there were strangers everywhere and they all knew him, it was loud and overcrowded, chilly and gloomy. Overwhelming and loud. Suddenly he wasn’t in a reality dating show and he was back where he had started but with a suitcase full of fame and fans.

Going home to his flat had also been bittersweet. His old phone waited for him exactly where he had left it and everything looked untouched except the few plants in his kitchen his sister had been watering while he was gone and the two empty bags of chips on his tea table in front of the TV which he figured were also hers. 

Bobby wasn’t too familiar with depression, unlike anxiety that had been a loyal friend of his, and he wasn’t sure if that’s what he had fallen into for the first week of being back in Glasgow but he also had absolutely no time to even try to figure it out since his schedule was completely full of interviews and casual appearances from the first day and then it was time to fly back to Spain for the finale. 

Apparently the whole thing with Artemis, Noah and him had caused the whole country a shock and that’s what everyone wanted to hear about. How did he feel now that he was home? Will him and Artemis remain friends? Will him and Noah remain friends? Is there anything he wished he had done differently? 

To none of that he could be honest about. He gave the exact same answer to the same questions and it was never true but what the public wanted to hear. They wanted to see the cheerful and goofy Bobby they had all fallen in love with and that’s exactly what he gave them. Sometimes it hurt more and other times it felt almost natural to fake his usual happiness. One thing he knew though, is that media couldn't know how he was really feeling about his friend. 

Artemis had gone MIA on him and everyone else. She had appeared on TV a couple of times but she hadn’t said a word to anyone from the show. Maybe she was upset with him for some reason or she had realized that there was no way for them to ever be friends again after hooking up. Maybe she hadn’t meant a word that she had said when they were saying goodbye. Maybe they were never going to see each other again. 

No, that was wrong, the finale was happening and she had to be there. Everyone did. Great. He could see her there and ask her if she’s okay. 

Love Island’s second season was won by Lottie and Gary. An absolutely deserved victory and luckily, they had both become his best friends and even family. The runner ups were Chelsea and Henrik and last, only because there was no other couple in the Villa - Noah and Hope. 

After Artemis’ exit, Noah had gone full dark and quiet until Hope had pried out of him a day before the finale that he actually had feelings for Artemis and he had only realized how strong they are once she was gone. Another massive Villa scandal and another hit for Artemis to take from the public. Bobby had called and messaged her so many times with no success. She didn’t want to be reached and she didn’t want to talk about what was happening more than she had to. What she probably didn’t know, however, was that he missed her terribly and he just wanted to hear her voice for one god damn second. He wanted to hear her laugh again. He wanted to wake up in the Villa and hold her again. 

_ The finale. _

Literally everyone had been there. Islanders, families, friends, crew, fans. He saw all of his friends. All of them except one. 

“Hey, have you seen Artemis?” he asked Priya. She ought to know. Artemis and her were very close in the Villa. 

“I was going to ask you the same. I haven’t seen her either. I think she might not have come at all.” 

_ Fuck. _

“Have you talked to her at all? She’s been ignoring me completely.” 

Priya winced and obvious worry painted her face. 

“No. Just once when she first went home. I think she’s been avoiding everyone. She mentioned she might stay over her brother’s for a bit. I don’t blame her though. The whole thing was pretty rough. I just hope she’s okay.” 

“Tell me if you hear from her, okay? I worry about her.” 

Priya nodded and smiled graciously at him then grabbed his hand and squeezed it lightly. 

“Bobby, what about you? How are you holding up?” 

“Oh, I’m fine. You know me.” he grinned. “It’s been wild at home. Who knew we would get so famous, right?” 

“Yeah, my job is definitely busier. The press is also crazy. All these brands wanting to try this and that. I can’t even gather my brain, honestly.” 

The two chatted for a while before they got distracted by someone else and then someone else until they had gone around everyone. Bobby kept looking for Artemis and every time he didn’t see her orange hair, his heart dropped a little lower and lower. She really hadn’t come. 

_ Why hadn’t she come? _

Because she couldn’t face anyone. She couldn’t face Noah or the others, for that matter. The utter shame that had overtaken her had refused to lift no matter how much she thought about it and how many times she told herself that she had done nothing wrong. 

“Artemis, you can’t hide here forever.” James told her and sat next to her on his couch while she was watching the finale episode of Love Island. “I love you and I love having you here but you can’t just avoid all of them forever, you know.” 

“I can at least try.” 

“You don’t think that talking to them could make you feel better? It seems to me like you and Noah definitely have things to discuss.” 

Artemis sighed and hid herself under the fluffy blanket she had dragged out of her brother’s bedroom. She didn’t want to think about Noah, let alone talk to him. He was for sure going to be upset with her for not showing up, hell, she was also upset with him. All of the emotions that had been mixing inside her, had also crippled her. The severe anxiety, shame and anger had glued her tightly to her seat and she could barely do anything. 

“You should really take a shower too. You’re starting to not just look like a gremlin but smell like one too. Come on, sister, I’ll buy you dinner if you get clean and ready. I refuse to let you rot in my house and stink up my blankets and my living room. “ 

“People outside know me and they hate me.” she murmured from under the blanket. 

“Wear a hat and some sunglasses then, borrow some of my clothes. I don’t care. We’re going out for dinner. You need to get some fresh air. Mom will kill me if she knows the state I allow you to live in. ” 

“You know what, James? I hate you.” she whined and got up. She knew he was right. He was always right and he always took care of her no matter how obnoxious she had been and how many time she had told him to piss off. James also knew exactly how she felt. Maybe it was the twin bond or maybe he was more empathic than everyone suspected. Or maybe he had been hurt way too many times himself. All of her heartbreaks, she had survived only because of him and his unlimited patience towards her and her bullshit. 

“Whatever, Artemis. Hurry up!” 

Frankly, sometimes, James was annoyed with his sister’s choice of partners but because he loved her as much as he did, he always transferred that onto the partners themselves and the nerve they had to hurt his sibling. He had watched every episode of the show and had talked to her all about it and he still couldn’t understand why she felt so deeply for Noah and not Bobby or literally anyone else on the show. 

_ “You will understand when you see him in person. It’s hard to describe. There’s just something about him and the way we connected.” _she always said and started crying every single time. 

She beat herself up for not liking Bobby too. It was Bobby we were talking about. He was great, perfect guy. Funny, caring, charismatic, good cook, amazing listener, very attractive and the list went on. She couldn’t put her finger on the reason why she couldn’t be head over heels for him considering he was more than willing to dedicate his life to her. It just didn’t click. 

She couldn’t go to the finale and face both of them. Not just Noah or just Bobby but both of them in the same place, surrounded by all the other Islanders, all thirsty for answers. Her phone was chucked somewhere around James’ apartment and she didn’t dare to look at it. He had though and had told her that several people were blowing up her phone but she had told him to ignore it. After all, Love Island had done more damage than good to her and she partly regretted ever auditioning for it. Of course, she couldn’t have known Chelsea, Lozza and Priya without it, so she definitely felt grateful for them but the state she was in after getting dumped definitely had to be one of her lowest points that she struggled to get herself out of. 

It hurt that _ she knew _ and he didn’t. It hurt that he hadn’t taken a step forward towards her. It hurt that he couldn’t choose her. Why wasn’t she good enough for him? 

The same question Bobby asked himself every day. Why wasn’t he good enough for her? Why did Artemis insist on shutting him and everyone else out of her life so badly? Why did she feel like she couldn’t talk to anyone? 

The more time passed the less he believed what she had said and that they were really at least friends. It had been a week after the finale and she had definitely attended several TV shows with Chelsea and Lottie and that meant that they had spoken to her about how she was. So why hadn’t she responded to him? What was so awful about him that she just didn’t want to even hear? 

Either way, he didn’t give up until he heard from her and at some point she had to look at her phone and respond. 

And she did. 

She called him almost two weeks after the finale in the middle of the night to apologize for disappearing and to explain what she had gone through. The conversation ended up lasting for over 2 hours until the sun had risen. 

“Hey, I have a thing on TV next Wednesday in London. We should have lunch or something.” he had suggested, trembling with fear that she would reject him. 

_ “No way! Absolutely. You can sleep over mine if you’re staying for more than a day.” _

Sudden relief and then utter surprise filled him, followed by happiness.

“Really?” 

_ “Of course. I told you you should come visit me whenever you want. Don’t be silly. You could teach me how to bake a cake or something. I’m still a hopeless case when it comes to baking.” _

“It will be my pleasure. “ 

They spoke for a while more and he realized that she was never mad at him. It had never been about him. Why would it be about him? She wasn’t hopelessly in love with him. It had been about Noah. _ Of course. _

Regardless, he could barely wait to see her again and spend time with her. Make her laugh and hear her stupid jokes again. He couldn’t wait to be surrounded by her existence again and a week seemed like too long but it eventually squeezed through. 

She had sent him the address of her flat and for some reason, once he was in front, his body almost froze with anxiety. He had no idea what to expect. Artemis only opened up whenever she wanted to and the rest of the time she was like a guarded fortress that couldn’t be accessed. No one knew anything about her unless she wanted them to. And she surely didn’t want him to know how she was really doing, so she had left him in the dark. 

“Bobby!” she screamed once she opened the door for him and threw herself on him, legs and arms wrapping around his toned body. “Oh my, I can’t believe you’re here! How was the filming? Tell me everything. “ 

Before he could even say anything, he took a second to take her smile in and smile himself. She looked good. No dark circles under her eyes, no weight lost either, cheeks were flushed in a healthy way. She looked amazing. 

Her apartment was very tidy but for some reason felt very...empty. He couldn't identify it but it felt somewhat empty and as if it wasn’t a home and from what he knew about Artemis, she loved feeling cozy and warm. Something was missing. Maybe it was the useless clutter of random things everyone had on their shelves or maybe it was just the lack of any mess around the place. There was a sterile feel to it where he almost felt guilty to move around, afraid to not make a mess. 

“That’s a sweet home, babe.” he noted while she gave him a wee tour of the place. It took his several hours to truly believe that she was there and then she didn’t want to imagine what leaving the next day was going to feel like. He hadn’t seen her or talked to her for way too long to be okay to just leave again. He wasn’t sure he would be able to take another flight to Glasgow after saying goodbye to her. 

“And this is…”

He interrupted her just as she was about to show him the bedroom and sharply pulled her in for a hug. She was stiff at first but slowly relaxed into the embrace. 

“I missed you, Artemis. I was worried about you. I didn’t think I would miss you so much.” 

She sighed and leaned her cheek on his shoulder, suddenly taken aback by him. 

“I missed you too. It was a rough couple of weeks. I still haven’t accepted the fact that it’s all over.” 

“Have you spoken to him at all?”

“No. Have you?” 

“No.” 

No one had any idea what was going on with Noah after the finale but it was clear to everyone that him and Hope hadn’t made it out of the show as a couple. He had been on the same mission Artemis had gone on and isolated himself away from the world in his library, surrounded by the books he had devoted so much love to. 

Staying over Artemis’ wasn’t nearly as scary as Bobby suspected it might be. They had a lovely dinner that didn’t have one awkward second in it and instead laughed hard like the good old times and caught up on everything that had been happening. Once that was done, they had gone back to her apartment and watched silly movies and ate their favorite candy until it was time for bed and she had told him they could share her bed but he had insisted that he was good on her couch. 

Sleeping on her bed next to her was only going to revive memories and that was the last thing he needed at that moment. And what he needed was to accept that they were only ever going to be friends and nothing more. 

She didn’t love him. 

She didn’t desire him. 

“Uhm, before we go to sleep, I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for being gone for so long. It was very selfish of me.” 

Her eyes strayed away from his and her teeth sunk in her bottom lip deeply. 

“You did what you had to do to move on, babe. No one blames you for going MIA. We were just worried, wanted to know that you’re okay. How are you feeling now?” he placed his hand gently on her knee in a gesture of support. 

She sighed and finally looked at him again. Her hazel eyes had gone darker, sadder. 

“I can’t move on, Bobby. Every day I wake up and wish I could stop thinking about him and I cannot. I thought about texting him but I can’t do that either. I’m terrified that he doesn’t want to ever hear from me again or maybe he’s moved on and forgotten all about me. Maybe he even hates me for ruining his relationship with Hope. Every day I wake up wishing that maybe he would text me and tell me how he can’t move on either but it’s always the same blank screen and it never hurts less.” 

Tears rolled down her cheeks and she hid her face in her palms, failing to conceal the muffled hiccups. 

Bobby’s heart clenched again for two different reasons. One of them being that he hated that the girl he was so in love with was hurting like that and the second was that the girl he was so in love with just wanted someone else. He almost hated Noah even if the guy had no idea that Artemis was so anguished over him.

He pulled her small body in his arms and she gave up in his embrace. 

“It will feel better at some point, love. And we’re all here for you. How about we don’t go to bed but make some muffins and hot chocolate instead? Baking always helps the heart and soul.” 

She nodded faintly and once her crying wave was over and she felt calmer, he unwrapped his arms and they moved to the kitchen. 

Bobby raided her cupboards and got all the necessary ingredients out. They were planning on baking either way, so they had bought everything on the way back home from dinner. He tried to be as funny as possible, swallow the heavy lump that had been lodged in his throat for the past hours and distract her from her sorrows and for a while it seemed like he was doing it right. There was still a slight darkness in her eyes but she laughed genuinely and it seemed like she was enjoying herself and his company. 

He allowed himself to imagine that’s what being domestic with her could be like. Baking muffins after midnight, watching stupid comedies all evening and then cuddling until they fell asleep. Bliss. He saw a version of her that he hadn’t seen in the Villa. She looked a lot more vulnerable and somehow...fragile when there were no cameras following their every move and he felt the utter need to protect her from all evil even if he needed her protection himself. He had also forgotten how clumsy she is. It took her almost no time to get batter in her hair and flour everywhere. She also kept sticking her finger in the thick mixture and licking it afterwards. 

“Why does it taste so good? Here have a taste. “ she offered him her finger with chocolate dough dripping from it. He gently took her hand and licked it almost sensually. The smile on her face melted away and was replaced by...confusion? Frustration? 

She had felt it too. That same old spark they used to have in the beginning of the show when they had been coupled up. The same spark that made them make out everywhere around the Villa and do other naughty things that had completely disappeared after he had asked her to kiss Noah. 

He had killed it. It was his fault that their passion had disappeared. If Operation Nope never happened, Artemis most likely would have had the chance to fall in love with Noah and she was still going to be with him. Hell, maybe they would have won the show together. 

He felt like crying and wished he could turn back time. But he couldn't. He couldn’t show her how much he was still hurting for her and how much he wanted to kiss her and spin her around the room like a princess. 

_ She doesn’t love me. She doesn’t love me. She doesn’t love me. She doesn’t love me. She doesn’t love me. _

“Of course it’s delicious. _ We’re _making it, after all. We really cut the mustard with this one or whatever people say. “ he found strength to grin at her and mellow out the sexual tension that had been building up for the short minute her finger spent in his mouth and then on his lips. “You said you have moulds, right?” 

“Yeah, they’re over here. I’ve never even used them. I was thinking of throwing them away but I’m glad I decided to keep them. They’ve been made to be used by you this whole time. “ she rummaged through her pots and pans cupboard and found a pink silicone muffin mould. 

“That’s perfect! You should pour the batter in there while I check the oven. “ 

The cupcakes and the hot chocolate turned out to be great, to no one’s surprise and they both felt pleasantly sleepy. 

He tucked her in and went to the couch that she had made comfy for him and they fell asleep eventually, after some rolling around, thinking about what was and what could be. 

The next couple of weeks went smoothly. Artemis had been talking to everyone again and was trying as hard as she possibly could to move on and be happy, so this time when everyone had gathered for a reunion brunch, she had shown up. Noah and Hope, however, hadn’t and that definitely had affected her. Chelsea and Priya had made it their mission to distract her as much as possible and Bobby had joined the group of Artemis saviors. 

One thing that didn’t change however was the feeling he got every time she called and messaged him and how stunned he felt every time he laid eyes on her. Maybe once she had completely forgotten about Noah, she could give him a chance again and they could rekindle that previous spark. Maybe if he was convincing enough, she would realize that Noah couldn’t make her as happy as he could. _ Maybe _. 

A month after the finale, he had another gig on TV in London, so he decided to surprise her. She had mentioned that she has an interview that same day, so after asking the girls if they knew what she was up to, he figured that she could only be home. 

Why did he think that? 

He didn’t ask himself why. His mind had gone blank and the only thing that was rational at that moment was the conversation he wanted to have and everything he needed to get off his chest. He needed to tell her that he couldn’t stop loving her and that he just wanted another chance. Just one more chance and nothing else. 

Once he was in front of her apartment building, he looked for her car but he didn’t see it, which was the first strike in his gained confidence. He called Chelsea again to see if maybe the two had decided to have lunch together but she didn’t know anything about where Artemis was. The only thing she knew was that she was done with the interview from a text she had received an hour ago. 

_ An hour ago. _

Perhaps he could wait some time, hoping that she had gotten stuck in traffic or decided to pick up something from the store. 

But even thirty minutes later, there was no sign of Artemis and that same dark hole had opened up in his chest and was devouring all of his happiness and excitement about the speech he wanted to give her and the odds of her saying yes. 

She wasn’t answering her phone either. The plan was a gigantic flop. What if Noah had finally reached out to her and they were somewhere together? What if they had finally gotten together in secret and had decided to not tell anyone yet? 

No, no, no, no. That couldn’t be. 

On the next day, she had texted him everything. How she had driven to Romford despite trying to get over Noah and how he had taken her for a walk around the city and then how they had gone over his place and talked long and wide about their feelings and the worst of all - they had decided to finally be together. Anxiety and dejection spread through his body like poison in his veins. Pain, he definitely wasn’t used to and never even wanted to get to know in the first place.

Bobby wished to believe that after all, the universe was still going to align somehow in a way that brings Artemis back to him. 

But he knew it wasn’t going to. 

Because she didn’t belong to him.

And she never was going to. 

No matter what.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this is the first work of mine that you're reading and you're curious to see what Artemis goes through and how far she makes it, head over to my full list of works and check out the dusty i love yous where it's all about her and Noah and their journey together. This chapter overlaps with the first one of her series and explains her whole adventure to the library, hence why I didn't go in full detail about it. 
> 
> Merry Christmas Islanders!

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, breaking Bobby's heart definitely fucking hurt.


End file.
